It's been one of those days, let me tell you! I don't even want to get into the math final that I failed this afternoon. I'd much rather curl up with a cup of hot cocoa, a bowl of popcorn, and enjoy the Christmas lights and some nice holiday music. I want to get into that Christmas spirit and have a little faith again that everything's gonna be alright. Cause right now I just don't quite believe it, and I'm feelin' awful down.
Tonight I been thinkin' a lot about the fact that somebody said to me once that I'm scary. It's the kind of thing somebody says an' then you just kind of smile an' move on about your business, except that, as I said to my sister, at the time I just kind of buried myself under the basement and cried. For three years. Well, maybe not quite all of three years, but it was pretty close to that. Because not only am I scary, but this person didn't wanna be anywhere I was. If there was a group I played on, he didn't wanna be there cause I scared him an' I was bad. There was somethin' wrong with me an that meant that everythin' was fine with him. Couldn't have been that maybe he was bein' mean an' that there wasn't anythin' wrong with me a'tall.
I guess I just want somebody to listen. I'm not thinkin' anybody really reads my silly little blog out here, but I'm just sayin' that I'm lonely right now an' it really sucks to wonder whether or not you really are scary. Cause I never meant to scare anybody, no matter what. And I guess you could say that it hurts my feelin's a lot to know that somethin' I did or said scared somebody bad enough that they didn't want to be around me. I guess that's how the world works, but it ain't like anybody's got the right to tell me I can't live in my own home, and that's what this person did. Told me I couldn't live in my own damned home!
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